Bible Study

By Jennifer Hutchins

Bible Study is an important part of your walk with Christ. The best way to know God is to read
and dig deep into His word. You can’t have a relationship with Him if you don’t get to know Him.
Just like you will never know your spouse if you don’t spend time getting to know them.
During a very difficult time in my life the Holy Spirit used a quiet moment studying my Bible to speak to my heart using the smallest verse in scripture.

Jesus Wept. John 11:35

My dad spent the last 10 years of his life knowing that he was not only losing his memory but he would soon lose every part of the life he knew as Alzheimer’s slowly whittled away at his brain. The last 7 months were the most difficult days for us as a family. Dad lived in a locked facility 5 minutes from where I worked. The only comfort I had during these very dark days was that I could visit with him each day and get to him quickly if I needed to. My heart was completely broken watching him struggle. Even though I didn’t know why we were facing this I knew and believed that God is Sovereign and that He loved Dad so much. But I couldn’t understand why he had to face this circumstance. He had lived the last 30+ years for Jesus making sure everyone knew the love Jesus had to offer them. Why this disease when he had so much compassion for sharing the name of Jesus?

During one of the darkest moments as I stood watching dad wrestle with the nurse as she tried to button a shirt for him. Something about the disease was causing his skin to be irritated and it was painful for him to have the shirt on his arm. He was angry in a way I’ve never seen him be. So different from the normal gentle, sweet and kind man I knew as my dad. I tried to step in and help talking to him as his daughter but he didn’t know that. To him I was an enemy like the others who were caring for him. If you’ve ever been around someone suffering from this disease you know how afraid and frustrated they become when they can’t remember the simplest things. Nothing and no one looks familiar and they don’t understand what’s happening. I cried a lot those last months and begged God to let dad join him in Heaven. That is what he longed for the most. Even when his memory failed he clung to his faith knowing that soon he’d be with Jesus.
When I had hit my lowest moment in total darkness and I didn’t think I could take anymore the Lord used John 11:35 to show me that He knew the pain I was feeling and that as long as I suffered He suffered beside me. I could feel His arms holding me up when I couldn’t stand.

Jesus wept for Mary and Martha in this scripture. They were completely heartbroken over the death of their brother. Even though Jesus knew what was about to happen He still wept for His friends. He is a father that loves us so much and He will never leave you alone especially when you feel the most alone.

In that moment I could feel Jesus weeping with me. It felt as though His arms were stretched
around me comforting me and weeping with me. Thank You Jesus for walking with me each day
of those 7 months. How could I ever make it one day without You! I hate to think that I could have missed such a sweet moment with the Lord if I hadn’t been searching for Him through His word. If you are in a battle and you feel so alone, so broken and you don’t understand why it has to be this way, I hope you understand that you’re not alone. God is there in the middle of the pain weeping with you, holding you up and being for you exactly what you need in that moment.

February 9, 2024